Friday, October 31, 2008

A S#itty Morning!!!


"Why, O Why is there a pot of boiling letters on your stove?," you ask. Well, thank you for your concern. As a matter of fact, it is indicative of the kind of morning I have had. S#!tty! I woke up to Vivia grabbing her diaper saying "Mommy, take it off." With poop on her hands because she was trying to take it off herself. GAG #1!
I say with much excitement "STOP!" and I proceed to remove said diaper. She begins to squirm and freak out~ apparently because she had a bit of diaper rash, and knocked the diaper out of my hand onto the floor where the poop rolled out! GAG #2!
I then say, "You know what, we are going straight to the bath!" Back upstairs to draw her a bath. I get her in there complete with her toys and bubbles, and run back downstairs to grab something. Now, before you call Social Services on me for leaving my 2 year old alone in the tub, I ask, "Have you ever made a mistake?" I have. It happens. So, once downstairs, I see where my poor, neglected dog has pooped on the dining room floor because she hasn't been taken on a proper "poop walk" for days. GAG#3
I begin to hear Vivia from upstairs calling to me, and then I hear the THUD THUD THUD of her running around. I know she must be dripping wet and naked because she can't reach her towels.
I run up there to find a pee spot on the carpet outside the bathroom door, and a naked Vivia dripping wet, saying "I'm Cold, Mama." I ask her "Did you pee on the floor?" And she says, "Yep., And I pooped in the tub!" OMG! NOOOOO...
Sure enough, I go look, and there is a floater, disintegrating in the water amongst her foam alphabet that she was playing with in the tub! GAG#4
Baby Rio begins squawking from the other room, doesn't he know that I have to clean this mess up? I go in there to get him, I immediately smell the familiar, strange odor of baby poo. YES, he has BLOWN OUT his diaper in the bed, my bed! I honestly cannot believe this is happening!
I will spare you the details of how I retrieved the poop from the tub, flushed it down the toilet, (retching the whole time), scrubbed the tile floor in my dining room, and bleached the crap (pun intended) out of everything.
But now you know why there is a pot of "alphabet soup" boiling on my stove...
That's just the kind of morning I had with "Baby making Four".

1 comment:

Kyle Chowning said...

this is the best/worst story I've read in a long time.