Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A love story... for my groom

I am making new friends. I have made 2 new ones in the course of one week. It's funny when you are married with kids how excited you get when you get out and actually meet somebody new. Like, REALLY excited. Like, *kindergarten, running home from school all giddy* excited. Or even like, *I met this new guy and I think he likes me* excited, from back in the dating days. Nostalgia kicks in of all-night-long phone marathons, and slumber parties. And connecting, really connecting with another female. In the kind of deep friendship that only women can have with each other...

Well, I think it's the pending possibility of being understood - there's only so much daddy "gets". Of having someone to hang with. Of something new or different going on, in general. Of taking a break from the norm and the mundane. Maybe you'll be able to discuss all that norm and mundane with this new friend and then you may become "best-ies". And you may have a BFF again. And then you may grow to become life-long kindred spirits whose children grow up together... So that when you go home, your emotional quota of the day has been filled and you can return as a lover to the man you cook and pay bills for, instead of trying to turn him into a woman by "talking him to death" and getting angry because he doesn't understand something that is impossible for him to.

...Or you may just lose her phone number and never run into her again.

But, for the night, it felt good to have some good-old-fashioned, innocent excitement before bringing in all the groceries, picking up all the toys, changing one more diaper and laying your exhausted head down on the pillow only to be awakened in a few hours by a hungry baby boy that you are in love with. Or to be awakened by a little girl, needing some hugs and cuddles, that you are in love with . Or to be awakened by another hungry boy that you have been married to for 8 years today, and are in love with. And while laying there awake in the dark, you remember that you really love the home you have built together. And that you are happier than you ever thought possible, and that you have learned more about yourself in those 8 years than in the sum total 33. And realize that a bunch of seemingly mundane days added together with some really amazing ones equal one beautiful life full of memories.
A life better than you could have even imagined for yourself. One where you are so at peace that if you were to die tonight, you wouldn't feel cheated out of a single thing. Or that you missed out on something life was supposed to have given you. Or from the satisfaction of working hard to achieve it. This is the peace that comes from knowing you are exactly where you are supposed to be, doing exactly that for which you were created. Knowing you are loved exactly for who you are, just as you are. And that love and peace filling you up so much that you can't help but let it overflow into the lives of those around you.

I can't wait until the number of years we have been together, outnumber the number of years we weren't.
I love you more today than yesterday, but less than I will tomorrow.
I love you more as a father to my children than I did as my lover. But not forgoing the latter to the former.
A fine wine grows better with age- as does love.

I am in love with my groom.

Happy Anniversary.
You are my Best-ie

Why am I posting this, instead of just sending it to my Husband in a private email? Because this is the modern *shout it from the rooftops* kind of thing I am feeling right now. I am married to THE BEST man in the whole world. Sorry, ladies. Get your own.


The Hagans said...

Love your story Freedom. Happy Anniversary!!

Jesse said...

This is beautiful Freedom.